Things y’all should know…

This is the section which will be filled with things I’ve learned over the years. I shall add to the list as they occur to me, such as happened the other day when I severely smashed the end of my finger.

HIT YOUR THUMB WITH A HAMMER? SLAMMED A FINGER IN A DOOR?
You know immediately that you are going to get a black blood clot under the nail which is going to hurt worse than your mother-in-law! The pain comes from the blood rushing in and swelling the injured tissue to cause painful, throbbing pressure under the nail. Just don’t let the blood into the injured area! IMMEDIATELY WITH THE OPPOSITE HAND, squeeze the injured area as hard as you can*, put as much pressure as you can, to prevent the blood from getting into the injured tissue in the first place. Hold the pressure for a half hour which will not injure the tissue. Slowly release pressure after about 30 minutes. It should now not swell up and cause pain. If it does, reapply pressure quickly until it doesn’t. I recently needed to expand upon this concept after smashing the whole end of my right index finger which I knew was not only going to cause pain under the nail but was going to make my whole finger extremely swollen and painful. I held pressure immediately and wrapped the whole area with tape as tightly as I could. Now my right index finger doesn’t stick out like a sore thumb. I prevented it from doing so.

*Yeah, I know it hurts but it already hurts like **** anyway so squeezing as hard as you can doesn’t really hurt it anymore than it already hurts.

FOUR CURES
Since the dawn of time man has searched for the cure of several common maladies. The cure for all four have been found during my professional career.
1) cure for baldness/Rogaine
2) cure for impotence/Viagra
3) cure for the common cold/zinc glycine gluconate (Cold-Eze)
4) cure for osteoartritis/glucosamine/Cetyl M

To elaborate on the later; Many years ago I had an xray done which showed dramatic arthritic changes in my spine, marked osteophitic spurring, virtuallly a fused spine. Some time later I added 2 glucosamine&condroitin tabs to my daily vitamin routine. A couple of years after that I had a chest x-ray which showed my spine well. I took one look at it and immediately got semi-irate with the x-ray staff for mislabeling someone else’s x-ray with my name. The spine I was looking at looked like that of a young person, no arthritic spurring, mild osteoartritic changes. It took the x-ray staff considerable time to convince me that they had NOT made an error and that WAS my x-ray. Only one conclusion here: Glucosamine not only stops the progression of osteoarthritis, it actually reverses the destructive changes. Initially I could make a fist that could hold a lemon, but not a lime, with big arthritic knuckles After a while on glucosamine, by the time the second x-ray was taken, the knuckes were much smaller and I could make a loose fist. Adding cetyl-M (Cetyl myristoleate) to the formula was even more amazing, enabling a tight fist/grip for the first time in years. Of course estrogen is needed to keep the calcium in your bones, the current Hormone Replacement Therapy “controversy” not withstanding. That point has been moot since the 1950′s. Everything since, breast cancer, etc has been publish or perish bull**** that does not address the concept of arithmetically insignificant digits. I want someone to draw me a cartoon showing a woman on her hands and knees in a room packed with elephants and a tiny black spot on the floor in front of her. Caption bubble reads “Eeeek! an ANT.” The elephants are the number one killer of perimenopausal and older women, namely osteoporosis and its sequelae, probability = 1, virtually universal without estrogen, and the ant is breast cancer, probability what, 1/10,00. With a probability of 1, the related probability of .00001, even .0001 is completely statistically insignificant and comprises the entitety of this ridiculous nonsense about estrogen replacement therapy at and after menopause. Like I said, the point has been moot since the 1950s, with the essential decision to make being, do you want to stay young, or grow old quickly? Of course, conventional medicine won’t tell you that. HRT is not the fountain of youth, but it is as close as you can get to it. A no-brainer with all the TRUE information, which of course is not allowed.

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